LAME AS F!

 

A thorn in my flesh is what you are. Deep within my bones you are stuck. Even though I know it is love. I hate you so much I would want to die.

Unwrap your sticky self from me. I hate how much you breath with me. Now I am lost and all can see. They can tell my sins, see my misery. Who wouldn’t with how you announce for me. Keep your presence known while you drown me. Never was it my intention to let you in. I thought I was being careful but pleasured in deceit. How do I look the world in the eye when you exist. Why did you have to show up and ruin me. But in the end your burden, it’s you and me. Maybe some day I will learn to live. Breath in air for you to be. Learn how to care, when your here with me. Of course am gonna keep you, am no beast. But I fear you remind me of me. How reckless I proved to be. I fear you will follow, like I lived. And end up blaming your mistakes on it. I didn’t mean for this pregnancy. But I think you have to a chance to live.

Breath with me, take in the smoke from our blazing bodies. Feel the friction between our demanding tongues.

Like a spell draw me in with you in a bubble of pleasures. Every touch from your skin sends to me heavens.

Like an angel your glorious voice moar.

 

photo credit: pixabay
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Parables and hymns

The Notion of Love

I want to be the sort of scripture that
you are not afraid to call good news.

Let my words be the verses that sink
through your blood stream and anchor
themselves to your pulses when
you are unsure of this world.

I don’t want you to worship the
frayed binding of my spine,
but I want to be the reason
you believe in something bigger
than the parables etched in
my skin like hymns.

#bemymuse 12, as requested by @gedthompsonpoet

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OLD WOUNDS.

jonathan-rados-732130-unsplash

I have been bled dry,

cry tears for every setting sun.

Washed scarlet from my wounds every night

Dream death when I seek light.

Felt suffocation from my own mind

Tried to find piece in a blazing fire.

Hypocrisy, I no longer trust time,

Sat outside on my porch all night

Even with the moon out I am dark

I catch my breath because I can’t

Am insane now, shamefully done

Seeing things right before my eyes

You are not real, I mourned you all night

Every day for nine whole years

Stumble back I won’t go down

I can not believe how I sunk

Now am imagining that which is not.

I swear your ghost, came to take my life

It’s only fair since you took my heart.

The day we lay you down, the day I took your life.

 

By: swtspnksy

Photocredit:Jonathan Rados

MY HAUNTING PAST

I’ve always had trouble sleeping at night. Noises have disturbed me my whole life. I found out years ago that I have hypersensitive hearing, picking up all sorts of background noises. They couldn’t fix it; only recommend the obvious techniques to mask the problem. Not that I hadn’t tried these already. Ear muffs, listening to music and even things like meditation. None of it worked. In fact it seemed to make it worse. It made her more desperate.
I hear her most nights. No one else can. Why does she only come to me? There’s always the dread of lying there each night in the dark silence, anticipating when she will come, and when I will hear her again. She usually likes to wait until I’m drifting to sleep, so that I jump back to my senses in fright to the sound of her there.
Most of the time it begins with a faint crying. She tells me that she “wants to make it end.” I know she’s getting closer to getting me and some nights I can even feel her cold breath in my ear. I can sense when she is lying close beside me in the darkness staring at me, and sometimes she whispers things like “It’s only me,” right into my ear. She’s toying with me, like a cat does to a helpless insect before killing it. The thing is, I could never see her, but it slowly felt like she was becoming more real.
The doctor later informed me that I suffer from schizophrenia. I have been taking medication for a long time but it wasn’t really working. It just made me feel more helpless. It was difficult for a girl as young as me to deal with this. At least now I could accept that she wasn’t real. It was all in my head and there was nothing real to be afraid of. That was until last night…
Last night her presence felt more real than ever. I could hear her whisper, feel the air on my neck and even smell her breath, it was all too realistic to handle. I got so scared that I fell back into my old habit of running through the darkness of the house into my mother’s bed to sleep beside her where I felt safe. Now that I was older, I knew she was hoping I had grown out of this phase, although I had only stopped doing it because it made her sad, and I didn’t want her to be disappointed in me anymore. She was all I had. If I had the choice I would be in there beside her every night without fail.
I knew my mother had been awoken by me, probably more saddened that I had reverted to old ways when she thought the medication had been helping me. But it wasn’t helping; I had just lied all this time to keep her happy and let her sleep in peace. I curled up in bed beside her and began to sob quietly. My mum looked uncomfortable from the noise I had made, and began stirring under the sheets so I whispered into her ear… “It’s only me.” She sat up abruptly, looking anxious. In the darkness I saw her reach over for her cell phone and begin to dial a number. I noticed on the screen that she was calling the doctor.
“The voices I used to hear,” she said. “They’re back…”

 

photo credit:Pixabay

THAT MOMENT IN LIFE

That moment when you realize your life is just being surrounded with sick and terrible people. People who are only committed to destroying your life and wasting your life. Not to worry, but just admit that you’re the problem, yea! you. A cold meal can only attract flies, make it hot and lets see if it can host the same set of visitors. Wrong people have a course to stay in our lives when they know they have a wrong fellow to host and accommodate them. Any evil that stays with you has your consent, so stop shifting blame. There’s nothing to be apologetic about, when it comes to your life, despise anyone who is ready to despise it.

Photo credit : Julian jagtenberg

BEGRUDGING FRIEND

You know, being jealous of an Ex is normal but not healthy.
Some people get low-key jealous of their ex who found happiness in another even though their ex is the one who messed up in their relationship. Some people will move on before their ex and still get jealous when they notice their ex is with someone new.
Being jealous of your ex’s shenanigans and comparing yourself to your ex’s partner is pointless and harmful to your self esteem and could possibly sabotage your present relationship. There’s no point Living in the past and hoping your exes suffer worse than you after a breakup. Some people are so bitter that they not only wish their ex bad, but also their exes’ partner whom they don’t know and haven’t had business with.
If your ex gets into a rebound relationship weeks or months after the breakup, there’s really nothing you can do. If they paint a picture of a perfect relationship with the new person, there’s nothing you can do. Okay, you really can do something and that’s minding your business.
Stop stalking them, stop checking their page, stop checking their girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s page and just mind your business. Romantic jealousy will only rip you apart.

photo credit: pexels.com

DO WE STILL HAVE LOVE LIKE THAT OF ROMEO AND JULIET?

 

Romeo and Juliet was a tragic romance written by popular playwright William Shakespeare and can be summarized as follows: Boy meets girl. Both boy and girl know that their parents won’t let them get involved. Neither boy nor girl care, and they arrange to be married in secret. Meanwhile, the cousin of the girl gets in a fight with the boy’s best friend and kills him; the boy then kills the girl’s cousin in a fit of rage, and as a result is banished from the city. The girl is distraught and seeks to fake her own death so that she can escape home to be with her love. However, the boy is not told of this, and when he returns to town he believes the girl to be dead. Anguished, he poisons himself. Girl thereafter awakens and on seeing the boy dead, stabs herself with his dagger! There is much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

All these types of stories do not relate to the love which is ideal and which we should strive for! A person who kills himself to prove his love for another only shows disdain for the gift of life given to him and his death will not add any value to the life of the one for whom he has taken his own life! Many young girls who have in their youth been given to such so called “love stories” have had only themselves to blame when they realize that in real life things are much more different to what the story books and romance novels say.

In reality, true love is not based on fantasy. It is not romance in the ordinary sense, but true love of the soul. It is the love based on purity. This kind of love is severe. You start by being severe with yourself first, by cutting away all your bad habits and forsaking all impurities. Then you will be able to truly love others. You will love them by doing only what will benefit them spiritually. You will not try to test their love for you by use of tricks and fake stories; neither will you be making demands. For example some begin to profess their undying love only after international flight tickets and foreign currencies for big time shopping have exchanged hands! Is that true love? I verily believe that you know the answer.

photo credit pexels.com

IN REAL LIFE.

It’s very important to grow up around reality.

Don’t date with a TELEVISION FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

In real life, we fart, snore, sometimes irritating, sometimes broke, sometimes confused, sometimes acting ungodly.

Date human beings, not TELEVISION CHARACTERS.

photo credit: pexels.com

DEAR YOUNG LADY.

Dear young lady. Please always remember that I told you that not all broke guys are husband materials. Especially in this society, it is prevalent to see many associate the appropriateness and husband compatibility of a man to the fact that he’s broke. This is sham. Not every broke guy is good. Not every broke guy has a great future. Not every broke guy has a vision. Not every broke guy will make a wonderful husband. Do not fall for their gimmicks and emotional blackmail, you can reject a broke man for many reasons, and you don’t have to explain that you didn’t reject his for his broke state. They’d call you gold digger. Yes, because by all means people want to pity broke men. Whether they were good or bad, leaving a broke man means you’re not a good woman. Don’t fall for it. You’ll leave some broke guys and they’d throw the popular line: “Nobody knows tomorrow.” Sometimes, even when tomorrow comes, they’ll still be broke, and you’ll be happy you left. Young lady, crosscheck your feelings for that broke man. Are you sure it’s not pity and not love? Many times women stick to men just because they are broke. Believing that in being broke lies virtue and hope, sometimes that miserable state is the best he’d have. Be careful, make sure you love him, not pitying him, and be mindful that you’re not sticking to him because you won’t want to make him feel you left because of his state. Don’t fall for this trap. I’m not saying be after a man’s wealth. But as much as I advise you to not love a man because of his wealth, please don’t love a man for his broke state either. Always remember, not all broke men will succeed. Some are lazy. Broke men too can be violent, abusive, and have character issues. Don’t let the humility of his miserable financial state cloud your sense of reasoning. Some men hide under the garb of their broke condition to attract women. Lol, it’s laughable, but it’s the truth that most often than not the society paints the broke man as the angel every woman needs, and the rich dude as evil, ritualistic, yahoo guy, and abusive. Be wise woman. Be wise.

 

photo credit:pexels.com

TO THE GIRL WITH THE FAIRY DUST WINGS.

Not so long ago, you were my best friend.

Not so long ago, you were more than my best friend.

Not so long ago, you were in my face, running the same race, now you want to trace my next place.

Not so long ago, you were my mortal enemy, you were not the same as me.

Not so long ago, you tried to fly away but was afraid I would not stay and go where the wind takes me.

Not so long, you made a wish, when I sprinkled you with pixie dust, you flew away and said you’d stick around, till you didn’t.

Not so long ago, I wished I’d never met you, I knew this day would come.

Not so long ago, I grew fairy dust wings and learnt how to fly more than cry.

Not so long ago, you were my best friend.

Not so long, you were more than my best friend.

Not so long ago, I said, goodbye.

Not so long ago.

 

#Day5 of the #loveletterproject